The Most Grief

A dietitian was once addressing a large audience in Chicago.
"The material we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed
most of us sitting here, years ago.

Red meat is awful. Soft drinks erode your stomach lining.
Chinese food is loaded with MSG. Vegetables can be disastrous,
and none of us realizes the long-term harm caused by the germs
in our drinking water.

But there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and we
all have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what food it
is that causes the most grief and suffering for years after
eating it?"

A 75-year-old man in the front row stood up and said, "Wedding
cake"

haha to ZA

One time when I was a kid my mom was having a rally hard time making supper. First she tried to make hot dogs but they burned. So then she threw a frozen pizza in the oven. When she went to take it out for some reason the pizza hard shriveled up and was about an inch around, it had been a large. It reminded us of that old mustard commercial where everything wrinkles up to get away from the one type of mustard. We laughed so hard picturing the pizza running away from the mustard. It may have been one of those you had to be there to see the humour, but 21 years later we still laugh about the miraculous shrinking pizza.

In need of a new stadium

Last week I was bbq'in on a nice evening out back. I was feet up, listening to completely nothing, and relaxed as a tree standing forever in its place.

As I was in thought of nothingness, I stared to engage in a scent that I was not too familiar with but had a pretty good idea of what was going on.

I turned myself in desperation and to my disbelief I saw that my bbq was on fire! I ran over to shut of the gas and began throwing my arms around like the god shiva trying to put out the flames in all directions.

After a minute of amateur firefighting, I saw that the valves have been burnt to shit and now was in need of a new grill....

So am I left with no other choice but to search for a new stadium (bbq) to continue with my summer :(

People in the meat grinder

Hey Teachers...leave them kids alone

If you don't eat your meat, you can't have any pudding. How can you have any pudding if you don't eat your meat!?!

Tango with the Tuna

Today I have a bout that should not go on without any doubt of a fight.

I am going to double bake a tuna!

The reason behind the fight is that when double baked tuna, you have the potential to over cook the aquatic beast thus, wanting to just toss it in the bin for the gulls later.

I will start off the first round with a low blow to the tuna's inside as I butterfly the damn thing. I will add a few upercuts of fresh dill and parsley, then humiliate a return of a slab of buttery goodness.

I shall put the entire thing in the oven to bake for 15 mins as the flavorful concoction absorbs into the flesh. haha I think I got this round easily.

Second round:
I have a feeling this will not be so easy.

So far the tuna will be 60% cooked but now need to pull the bruised and tired speedious dorsality out from the oven and crust it with some italian spiced breadcrumbs and shaved almonds.

Using an egg, I beat it to death with lavish wisks from my unfair utensil, I cover the tuna with it so the crumbs and almonds adhere to it.

I beleive I will win this fight with a few blows back to myself due to the high temperature I require to crisp the coating.

With a few squirts of lemon in the eye, the tuna should tap out easily and submit to a fair defeat.

Place on wooden board, cut, and enjoy!